5 Things no one will tell you about dieting – Except me

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Everybody loves to point out how rotund you have become around .. well everywhere. And everybody happens to know somebody who lost a ton of weight and now looks fabulous. Also everybody loves to tell you about it too. If you happen to be everybody, move along. But if you are the victim here, my friend this blog is just for you.

So tired of having the same conversation over and over, you decide maybe it’s time to lose a few kilos. Or twenty. You head on a path, never seen before and start losing weight along with many other things, your mind among them. And halfway through you wish someone had told you the things you end up learning the hard way.

Well guess what. Here is your wish come true. If you are about to embark on the above mentioned journey, take a little time out to read this blog, I wrote solely for you.

1) Dieting is hard.

There I said it. It is a hard truth. All those women with 16 inch waists telling you how easy it is to switch to healthier food are liars. When you first start eating healthier food, your body goes into shock. You have put it through a fair amount of crap, it will take its time to detox. The best thing for you to speed up the detox is drink water, tons of it, even if it means more trips to the bathroom than the kitchen. At the end of the day, dieting require a great deal of commitment. So only attempt it if you are serious. It will take its toll on you and some days you will feel like you have no strength. That big chunky burger will look very tempting then. Shut yourself in your room and eat your poor soup.

2) Your hair will fall out. In bunches.

The last part of your body that you want thin is the hair on your head. But trust me, it will be the first one to be so. Intelligent as we are, we will never be able to eat a balanced meal ever. It just can’t be done. Therefore some sneaky vitamin or mineral gravely needed by the body will be left behind and viola, you will shed more hair than a Labrador retriever during .. whenever it is they shed the most fur.

Please let it be hair from the woman in The Ring.

Please let it be hair from the woman in The Ring.

3) Your olfactory senses are a blessing.

You will never feel more blessed to have a strong sense of smell than while dieting. Trust me it works. See something you crave? Go up to it very slowly pick it up and take a big whiff! Then drop it instantly and run. Run like your life depended upon it. Your craving will go down by 70%. Maybe I exaggerate but it certainly becomes less. If you feel the need to repeat it, wear a medicinal mask on your face and go sniffing again.

4) Dieting without exercise? You might as well dive headfirst into cake.

Diets are a great way to start the ball rolling. But that fat of yours which your body worked so hard to be friends with, won’t leave you so easily. It’s like those relatives of yours who won’t go home no matter how many times you yawn in front of them hinting, you want to go to bed. Sure initially cutting back the calories will get the weighing machine to go in the direction you actually want it to. But it will soon stop. The only way to keep it moving backwards is to get your butt moving. Start with a walk, gently working your way up to targeted toning. You will actually feel good about yourself for a change.

5) Cheat days will make you insane.

For all the hard-work and effort you will be putting in, you get one day each week where you can stuff your face with whatever unhealthy, heart-attack, diabetes causing junk you can manage to get your hands on. But once you gulp it down and you will gulp it down, you can feel it go down your gullet, be absorbed by the bloodstream, turned into fat and be readily adopted by the body with open arms as if it were Angelina Jolie! You would hate yourself for shoving your face, then shove your face some more since you are allowed, then hate yourself again. It’s a vicious cycle.

I just had a burger!

I just had a burger! Now excuse me while I go hate myself.

So still game? Of course you are. You are awesome. Take the first step and the others will just fall automatically. Ok no they won’t but trust me they are definitely worth it. This list is however by no means complete. I will keep adding to it as I figure them out and share them with you. Yes, I am awesome too. Until next time! Ciao bello/bella!

 

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